BurtonLucifer's Blogger Blogging

15 years ago I was winding up. I'd tried everything I could, and I was tapped out. I had no way to control what was happening to me. I was in denial about it. No, it cannot be the Mother of all Conspiracies with me at the centre that it looks to be because that is the path to madness, it must be this much smaller explanation that makes it all a mistake. And even believing in the smaller explanation, it was beyond my control. I had reached my limits. As it must be a mistake because it is incomprehensible to believe it was intentional and planned years in advance, I was preparing to accept my impending fate. I was preparing to die for my species.  That was a direct consequence of the work I began in 1983, learning to place others ahead of myself. No small feat given my narcissistic beginnings. I never tried to be a "saint". I just aimed high. I'd been dealt a(nother) bad hand and I'd just have to play it to a loss. Then the  Christianity Equation . The effective nul...

I remember getting up at 4am in the early 80s to watch the royal wedding. It was the first time I paid attention to the royals. Even as a kid I saw the monarchy as having little to no practical value. Sure, there were fundraisers and charities and such, but the pomp and ceremony and shiny pieces of dirt...it seemed to me to be all show and no substance. No longer did the royals govern. We were in an age of enlightenment. People were given the rights and freedoms to rule themselves many years ago. Slightly more useful than an appendix. "Tits on a bull". An anachronism from humanity's days living in ignorance and darkness. And what was up with all that  inbreeding ? Centuries, millenia of it. King Tut had numerous genetic defects from sister cousin lovin', and it wasn't a new thing then. Sure nothing was known about genetics, but after a few centuries of physical defects, insanity, all the negative outcomes of inbreeding one would expect that doing one's own Mom...

Learning to draw upon your own power is hard work. It's much easier to get practically the same thing from others. It can be taken by force, but that can get messy. Best to convince others to surrender their power to you. But how can that be accomplished with healthy, well educated, well rounded individuals who think for themselves and have freedom and rights and stuff? Too difficult. The individuals need to be crippled. It's so easy to push around a cripple. Kick out the crutch from underneath them, mock them, play a rousing game of "why are you hitting yourself?". Ah, good times. And even better, convince them to cripple themselves! That crippling themselves is in their best interests! Thinking=bad, rights=wrong, freedom=slavery, all that Orwellian goodness. A society of crips, push overs, easy to dominate and control. And if you're doing it right, the stupid crips will even thank you for accepting their power! Man, do I ever feel big standing next to a pack of ...

You fucking bitch, you're treating me like shit You fucking bitch, you're not loving me one bit I'm not your property to be kept under lock and key These are words from a song I wrote entitled, strangely enough, "Fucking Bitch". Probably around late 2002. I'd only just acquired the ability to write music and had written several songs by this point. This song was different. The words coming out of me were very angry. Contrary to what I aspire.  But it was ecstatic. I was almost giddy with joy writing it. Completely the opposite mindset one would expect to accompany words such as these. Writing music is already a joy, this was up by at least one notch. It was perfect. Overt psychological operations commenced against me four months later.

One year of proximal familiarity. Do not engage with the target. The purpose is to familiarise the target with yourself dulling any instinctual warnings the target may have about you. After one year get in close and tight with the target. The purpose here is to create strong bonds of trust that can later be used for maximum effect. This phase will last a number of years. During this time you will be instructed on specific events or activities in which to engage with the target. After a period of years the target will be subjected to a manufactured crisis. The purpose here is to neutralize the target. Your job will be to monitor the target and report back on the target's mental state. The target is to be kept at arm's length, removing the security from the relationship and adding to the crisis. No action is to be taken against the target. At the opportune time you will be instructed to sever the relationship, essentially turning your back on the target in the time of their great...

The purpose of existence is to answer the Great Question "Who am I?". We do this through the process of knowing ourselves. There are many ways to do this, the best involving the Golden Rule. The Meaning of Life. I can think of no greater crime against life itself than to engineer the ability to know oneself out of one's life.

February 27th, 2022 through April 4th. The targeting resumed then ceased. These events correlated heavily with posts I made in the Gang Stalking Australia Facebook group  and Discord server . I told few people. I did not want to appear to be playing games. An old favourite, gut rape for a few weeks. Next generation sleep deprivation technology. Community and vehicular stalking, laughable now that I've healed. I kept rough documentation each day. It was as if I was being given a demonstration of the latest torture tech. Most notable was the sleep dep. Previous sleep dep was obviously artificial, unnatural. This new method would not have been detectable had I not had the previous experience. I would have believed it to be a sleeping disorder of some sort. At one point it was used to keep me up for two days straight. Cheating at reality. Stacking the deck in such a way that it appears to be just stuff that happens when the cards are dealt. The people responsible are getting better at ...

In mid 2007 I had a breakdown. After four years I had exhausted all my avenues of defending myself from what I was to learn years later was called gang stalking. I was winding up, preparing to accept my destruction. Then God hands me  The Christianity Equation , providing me personally with proof of the knowledge I gained from my gnosis and providing me with proof beyond doubt for others that I did not deserve what was being done to me. I'd had all the information I needed to understand what was happening to me for years. I still refused to believe it.  All this was a mistake. Had to be. People are basically good. Once the Christianity Equation is understood all the mistakes made against me will be corrected.  After four years I was exhausted. The constant stress was a dead weight around the neck. After being prepared to roll over and die I now saw hope. That is not what happened. For reasons I do not comprehend the power of the Christianity Equation was never appreciated...

In the summer between grade 6 and 7 I stopped swearing. I didn't swear again for six years. I'd only hit puberty the year before and the testosterone had caused my underlying anger issues to manifest as foul language. I was beginning down a bad road. That summer I went to church camp and had another religious experience. The same headspace as the little extra gave me with that cannabis. In contemplating the experience I had to admit to myself that my behaviour was sub optimal and that the swearing was in control of me. So I took control of it. Cold turkey. I think one or two slip ups then nothing for six years. I'd never exercised my will like that before. I surprised myself, impressed myself. I just demonstrated how good a Christian I was by stopping the swearing. And believing really hard. I was on the right path again, and damned near a saint with that lack of swearing. The anger was causing me to swear, so I repressed that. That caused the anger to bubble up at unforese...

That was the nickname given to me in grade 8. I remember choosing to feel proud of it, deep down knowing there was nothing to be proud of.  It was the narcissism coupled with the neurological advances of puberty. I always had the right answer. When I didn't there was always a perfectly logical explanation of why it was not my fault. That was just one of the symptoms, the side effects of the disorder. It is a whole way of thinking and processing that consumes one's life to one's own detriment. There was a period of about two years, my last year of public school and first year of high school where the narcissism defined me, the way I thought, the way I related. I remember what it was like. It was hell. Always the underlying fear that someone will see through the lies you're telling yourself. The insecurity of an unexamined life where the goal and belief is to be the expert. The constant churning trying to figure out ways of getting others to validate the lies you tell you...

"I'm God! I'm a Christ! But...whoa!" Sure, I was a scientist, an IT professional. But I was just a guy from a rural area. From a modest uninfluential background. I could wrap my head around being God, but a Christ? That's not what it meant at all, what I'd been taught at church. I didn't use the "C" word for about eight years as a result. Too much baggage, and at that time I didn't fully believe it anyway. For the first few years, to say I would have killed for a mentor is an exaggeration. But by less than what you might think. I was looking for any direction, any experience, any gurus or masters who could help me understand the experience of gnosis and the paradigm shifting perspective that came with it. I found no one. The internet was still in its infancy and while I found some information there was nothing that could have been taken as evidence. Talking to peers about it in an attempt to understand it yielded negative results. I believed ...

Back in 2003. With all the work I'd done on myself over two decades and the experiences that I had there was no situation I could imagine that I could not forgive. No slight against me that I could not overlook. I had taken my Sunday school lessons to heart and had become a person who strove to emulate Christ. Who was a Christ. I could never have imagined the actions taken against me. Protracted psychological and physical torture. Decades of constant underlying terror. Dehumanisation. The slow methodical unstoppable demolition of a life. The attacks on the mind. The attacks on the soul. Stealing my potential, erasing my accomplishments. Death would have been more humane. 20 years incarceration would have been preferable. What was done to me was orders of magnitude worse than the treatment rapists and murderers get. For being a Christ. I couldn't have imagined such action being taken against anyone, let alone me. I tried very hard to be one of the good guys, with significant suc...

For the first time in my life I was going to purchase some cannabis. I'd been to Amsterdam a few times, had tried cannabis a handful of times but had never bought any outside of Amsterdam. A quarter Oz. From the first puff I was like "this is cannabis?!?! WOW!!!!". I'd never had anything like it before. I thought it must be the strain or something. This was the best cannabis you've ever had, up a level. An extra dimension. A headspace the same as the headspace from religious ceremonies without the religion. There were three other people sharing this cannabis. I was the only one affected this way. About five days passed. I saw the value of cannabis as a tool of personal exploration. After this my gnosis was triggered. Without that extra dimension to the cannabis my gnosis would not have been triggered. After that quarter was done I immediately ordered another. I could tell from the flowers and the smell that it was from the same batch. But that extra dimension was ...

There was a period in my life of 20 years, almost to the day, where my efforts had a positive effect on my life. From March 1983 through April 2003.  I took responsibility for myself overcoming narcissism. I taught myself bass, became proficient, began writing music in 2002. A degree in chemical engineering. A career in IT. World traveller. A Christ. There were about 3 years detrimental to me in there. Clinical depression, what I now see as an assassination attempt and related things took two years. Nearly killed me. Another year lost to lesser things. But for the most part that 20 years was attaining a potential I had no idea I was capable of attaining. Everything outside those 20 years has been me dealing with attempts to control and manipulate my life to my detriment. Deliberate ruination. Wasted potential. All of it done in such a way as to appear to be my doing or just stuff that happens. Narcissism makes you small. As a kid/teen I couldn't imagine actualizing so much potentia...

We're all the Good Guys of our own story, even the bad guys. There are many who are genuine good guys. I took self improvement very seriously at a young age. As a direct consequence I was given the title of Christ later in life. An archetypical Good Guy. What only became apparent after the decades of systematic dismantling of everything I accomplished in life is that my potential to be an archetypical Good Guy was known for my entire life. That potential was stripped from me from birth. I was intended to be breeding stock only. When I took back my potential it was stripped from me again 20 years later in the most cruel way possible. Whatever mutations I possess that made enlightenment as "easy" as it was for me, I'm still human. And I'm God. Just like you. My purpose in life as an archetypical Good Guy was to help you implement your will for your own species. That purpose was deliberately ruined with great planning and intent so that criminals could continue to fo...

Man, things have been really difficult because of all the wrong decisions we're making. We decided a long time ago that doing the wrong thing was the right thing, so we're not going to question that. It's just that things that used to work at smaller scale don't scale up. All our time is spent running around cleaning up all the mess we made, plugging the holes. There's got to be a way that we can continue to do the wrong thing while still fixing the problems caused by our bad decisions. Word just came down from on top. It has been decided that to fix the problems caused by all the bad decisions being made things will be screwed up even more and harder, with less visibility, oversight and accountability focusing on human rights negation. Only by compounding our errors in judgement can we fix the problems caused by those errors.