BurtonLucifer's Blogger Blogging

By mid 2007 I was at an end. After four years I'd exhausted all possible avenues of dealing with my situation. Lawyers, private investigators, all the information in  The Library , I was done. I couldn't begin to grasp with what I was dealing, but even the purposeful minimisation in which I engaged to be able to begin to grasp was insurmountable to me. I had come to the conclusion that my fellow monkeys had made a mistake about me and nothing could be done. I'd faced a lot of challenges in life getting to this point and I knew surviving it was the direct consequence of the effort I put into myself using the words of Christ. Conscious ego suppression. Forgiveness. Elimination of triggers. Had I not I would not have made it to 2007. And there I was, a Christ myself, being unjustly persecuted like the role model from my youth. When he got taken apart by mudballs he gave up his life for them. I was preparing myself for the same before the  Christianity Equation . Eat my flesh. ...

These two words changed the course of my life. I heard these words in my head just before my 14th birthday. Up to this point the combined effects of narcissism plus evangelical Christianity had me on a path that would have seen me fail to make it through high school. The complete lack of any personal growth or change (due to the fact that believing stuff really hard and using the "sorry Jesus" mantra fixes everything) would have seen me become a stereotypical Christian. That's not a good thing. Not at all. Virtually every Christian uses the teachings of Christ as shackles on behaviour. External limiter. Underneath the undeveloped mudball animal becomes caged, bitter, angry. Add the self inflicted damage caused by purity culture and, well, you do the math. Or look at the examples. It's not the Rainbow 🌈 Brigade that's harming children. It's conservative evangelicals. Catholic priests. Every single one has used the teachings of Christ as shackles. Every single ...

I understood that I was Gnostic upon entrance to The Library. And for a long time after. I'm no longer Gnostic.  Destination attained.

There are only a handful of reasons why I'm alive today. 1. I don't deserve the treatment I've been getting all my life and especially for the last two decades. 2. My dog Ria. 3. Significant time and effort invested into self mastery. 4.  The Christianity Equation . The first three got me through just four years of your little public execution. The Christianity Equation is a one off. No one could have survived what you cunts so unjustly did to me. It's no wonder you bet the farm on me breaking. I'd have taken that bet too back in 2007, knowing what I know now. But Supercomputer had other ideas. And I'm Burt. Time to pay.