BurtonLucifer's Blogger Blogging

I'd be willing to go as far as saying that virtually no one else could have lived my life better than I. That is not a complement to me. The narcissism. Virtually no one would have been able to avoid or correct the damage. I had completely failed to do so by the age of 13. A defenseless child undoing his damage? Unheard of. A statistical anomaly. Everyone else would have succumbed. A life sentence to a living death, however superior their potential was to mine. I dodged a huge bullet that would have destroyed anyone. It had destroyed me. But I took responsibility. I overcame. I worked very diligently on self improvement. And then smack bang into clinical depression. Worst time of my life. Ending things became an option. Many people don't survive such things. But I took responsibility. I took back control. I got over it on my own, no assistance. I took my life back. There were other smaller yet damaging things that happened. Each time I took responsibility. Learned from the expe...

It was around 2001. I'd been a Christ for a couple of years however I was very much on my own. I'd spent my time looking for guidance and direction but as the internet was still young I was unable to find much useful information, and no gurus to guide me. Around this time I came across the book  The_Holy_Blood_and_the_Holy_Grail . It was the first time I was introduced to the concept of Jesus having a bloodline into the modern age. "Hey, I'm a Christ! Wouldn't it be neat-o if I was a descendant of Jesus! Nah, bullshit. Wishful thinking. Forget about it". Then the gang stalking. Much can be found in my  Medium blogs  as well as my  Linktree . One of the effects of gang stalking is to cause the TI to re-examine everything in one's life, looking for reason and meaning.  When you go through life things happen and you view those things from your perspective at the time and make judgements and assumptions about the things. Life goes on, more stuff happens which ...

 I once tore a guy's head off for whistling out of tune. Totally lost it, ranted and raved at him, packed my stuff and left for the day. And all he'd done was whistle out of tune. Here's the thing. Not on my worst day would I lose it on someone for something as trivial as whistling out of tune. Yet that is exactly what happened. In the hours preceding I was subjected to gut rape at the highest intensity I ever experienced. I was barely hanging on. Whistling out of tune was exactly what was required to get me to snap. I was powerless to stop myself. I knew right away it was a stitch up. There was nothing I could do.

I try to be. I want to be. I want to do the right thing. I've been told that to be a good person I needed to hold a certain set of beliefs. Believing is not that hard. I can do that. That will be an easy way to prove that I'm a good person. Part of my beliefs say that sex outside of marriage is wrong. I don't want to do the wrong thing so I won't do that. But it's so hard to deny it completely. All those thoughts and attractions. I know it is wrong, but the more I resist expressing myself the harder it gets. That makes me feel bad, feel weak. So I'll be strong! I'll be strong in the name of my beliefs because I want to be good. I will choose to hate my drives, suppress my natural drives with the utmost force. This will prove beyond a doubt that I would do anything requested of me in order to be a good person. And I believe it is the right thing to do. What could possibly go wrong?

Last night I was eating my plate of spaghetti, when his Divine Holiness Flying Spaghetti Monster touched me with His noodly appendage, appointing me as His sole representative here on Earth. And He did reveal the 𝐂𝐨𝐬𝐦𝐢𝐜 𝐑𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐨𝐟 𝐀𝐥𝐥 𝐏𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐚 unto myself, and commanded that I impart this knowledge to His faithful upon this Earth. So now, for a limited time only, you too can have 𝐂.𝐑.𝐀.𝐏., and through 𝐂.𝐑.𝐀.𝐏., eternal salvation*! That's right, understanding this 𝐂.𝐑.𝐀.𝐏. as revealed by myself, the sole representative of His Divine Noodlyness, will ensure your soul's eternal salvation!!! How much would you expect to pay for eternal salvation? But wait, don't answer yet, there's more... Not only will you get eternal salvation, but you will be freed from all care and responsibility in this life!! You heard me correctly, for a limited time I am providing this fantastic once-in-a-lifetime two-for-one deal - eternal salvation and freedom...

Back in mid 1999 I experienced Gnosis. Enlightenment. At the end of a bong. I wasn’t looking for it. I wasn’t interested. I’d spent much of my youth extricating myself from Christianity and had no impetus to take on another belief system (which this isn’t, but still I wasn’t interested). I immediately understood that I was God. Just like everyone and everything else. 'God' is a property of existence. I understood that I was a Christ and after a fraction of a second rejected any notion of being Jesus or anything like what I’d learned in Sunday School. This isn’t Highlander. 'Christ' can be considered the equivalent of a martial artist’s black belt. There can be more than one. If I had been raised Buddhist I’d see it from a Buddhist’s perspective. If I’d been raised Muslim, then from a Muslim’s perspective. Prior to enlightenment a process called 'preparing the vessel' is necessary and required. I began this process at the age of 14 in earnest, taking my Sunday Sc...

I joined  Medium  about a month ago to aggregate my online writings in one place. With the latest update of their app today all write functionality has been removed. It is now only possible to write blogs using a desktop browser. I don't have a home internet connection. That makes their service entirely unusable for me. I'll be moving my blogs here over the next little while. One feature I liked about Medium was the ability to follow authors. I've yet to explore fully here. Looking forward to learning.

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