Responsibility

I'd be willing to go as far as saying that virtually no one else could have lived my life better than I.

That is not a complement to me.

The narcissism. Virtually no one would have been able to avoid or correct the damage. I had completely failed to do so by the age of 13. A defenseless child undoing his damage? Unheard of. A statistical anomaly.

Everyone else would have succumbed. A life sentence to a living death, however superior their potential was to mine.

I dodged a huge bullet that would have destroyed anyone. It had destroyed me. But I took responsibility. I overcame. I worked very diligently on self improvement.

And then smack bang into clinical depression. Worst time of my life. Ending things became an option. Many people don't survive such things.

But I took responsibility. I took back control. I got over it on my own, no assistance. I took my life back.

There were other smaller yet damaging things that happened. Each time I took responsibility. Learned from the experience, moved on with my life. By my early 30s I had a burgeoning career in IT, a good relationship, experience as a world traveller and wide open horizons. I had taken responsibility for myself. My life had had the potential to destroy me several times over in my first 30 years. It had not. 

I was deeply successful. Not just in my career, but as a human being. It wasn't perfect but it was mine.

And then the gang stalking. Day after day, piece by piece my life was stripped away from me. Everything that could be taken from me was. My career, stolen from me with intent and forethought, made to look like I did it all myself. Two decades of my life wasted. Untold damage from prolonged exposure to stress hormones.

The second worst time of my life.

Up until the gang stalking I dealt with everything in stride, taking it to be just stuff that happens. But that's not it. That's not it at all.

The intent for my life as breeding stock was that I have the worst, most limiting life possible to ensure my potential would not become a nuisance. To that end the deck was decidedly stacked against me.

When that didn't work my life was systematically dismantled, made to look like I was responsible.

My species intended an existence in a living hell for me. It took them awhile, but they got there in the end. These people are supremely skilled at doing the wrong things. Controlling the very destinies of people with precision and accuracy. There have never been more skilled criminals.

The crimes against my life are absolute. And we're dealing with degrees of absolute. Orchestrating narcissism for an infant is wishing one of the worst lives possible on the baby. That alone is monstrous, a thorough violation of the highest law and a complete betrayal of responsibility.

But to get over all that, successfully deal with it, take responsibility for it all and have that stolen from me so I'm forced to play the only role you have allowed me in life?

You forced upon me the absolute worst life you could. Laws exist to stop people from causing others unjust loss and suffering. You didn't just cause these things to happen. You planned years, decades in advance, coldly calculating while I was left to deal with the fallout of your livestock control measures.

You ruined my life. With intent and forethought and many backup plans.

Your crimes are too great. Your intent is insanity personified. That you do insanity very very well does not mean it should be done.

You think that you, a stupid smelly monkey, know better what is good for humanity than the Source of Life itself? 

You're ruining everything for everyone everywhere. From the vantage point you have thrust upon me that is very clear.