A Most Useful Skill

I know how to lie to myself. I have significant expertise and many years of training in the subject. But it is a skill that is to be reviled. Lying to oneself is overwhelmingly negative. It is the exact opposite of what one must do to prepare for life in general, and enlightenment in particular.

But I found a practical, positive use for it.

When the truth is so fucking bad that accepting it will destroy you, lie your ass off to yourself about it.

I've been doing that for the better part of two decades. It allowed me to hold a little something back. That little something has been used to great effect.

The breakthrough started around my birthday. The obstruction was removed on May 17, and for the past two weeks I've been experiencing a realignment. I don't quite understand what has happened. It has felt like 2 months. I've been everywhere.

I have accepted the truth now. As monstrous as it is, it no longer has the power to destroy me.

If this was a video game, I'd have just defeated the level one boss.

Welcome to level two.

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